It Is Hard To Be A Jew In This Moment

It is hard to be a Jew in this moment … the horrid barbarism of Hamas’ attacks shakes us to our core.  

Our people have been murdered, injured and taken captive … simply because they are Jews.  For some Jews these attacks recall their own direct experiences of hatred and violence and the suffering that follows.  For all Jews these attacks ignite painful memories in the Jewish psyche that we all hold in some part of us … moments when history’s boot kicked, stomped or smashed our bodies and our spirit.  We need and deserve the comfort and support of having our terror – that Hamas has caused and that we continue to feel – recognized and denounced within and beyond the Jewish community.   

It is hard to be a Jew in this moment … because even as we are overwhelmed by anger, fear and our vulnerability our tradition pushes and prods us to see more in all of life’s moments, especially in moments like this one.  

We are pushed to approach the world – especially in moments like this one – framed by Rabbi Hillel’s summary of what we are about as Jews: “What is hateful to you, do not do to another.” (Shabbat 31a)

We are prodded to listen to the stories of all human suffering – especially in moments like this one – with our tradition’s reminder that, ‘Eilu v’Eilu – both THESE and THOSE’ dissonant stories can both be true.  (Eruvim 13b.)

While it is a hard moment, we are not alone as we hear the voices of the coalition of Israeli human rights organizations (among them Rabbis for Human Rights, Combatants for Peace, and Breaking the Silence) who wrote in an open letter to President Biden: We raise our voices loudly and clearly against the harm to innocent civilians, both in Israel and Gaza.  We urge you to work for the immediate release of all hostages and for an end to the bombardment of civilians, both in Israel and in Gaza.  In Gaza, the civilian population must be shielded from the fighting and receive humanitarian assistance; medical facilities and places of refuge must not be harmed; and vital resources such as water, electricity and fuel most be restored.

While it is a hard moment, we are not alone as we hear the voices of the more than 75 Israel based academics, thought leaders and progressive activists who declared:   There is no contradiction between staunchly opposing the Israeli subjugation and occupation of Palestinians and unequivocally condemning brutal acts of violence against innocent civilians.

It is hard to be a Jew in this moment.  We are taught by our Sages that at times like these when we confront a lack of humanity – especially in moments like this one – we must stand up and act like human beings.  (Pirke Avot 2:5).

May we all find and share the strength and courage that it takes to be a Jew in this moment.

A Special Announcement from Micah and PHUMC – Creating a Temporary Safe Outdoor Space

Dear Micah Community,

Do Justly. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly.

The story of our Micah community abounds with our endeavor to understand and realize these simple, fundamental and transformational values set forth by the prophet Micah.  Our efforts to embody the prophet’s expression of our Jewish ideals have taken on many forms in our 6+ decades of synagogue life.  Some of these efforts have been for the benefit of our own community, others have been for the sake of those beyond our community.  Some of these efforts have focused on personal growth and our individual spiritual lives, others have been focused on changing the world.  Some of these efforts have been easy and natural, others have been unsettling and challenging.  We are about to begin an exciting new effort as we endeavor to embody these precious values of ours … 

Park Hill UMC and Temple Micah are partnering with the Colorado Village Collaborative to host a temporary Safe Outdoor Space on the PHUMC parking lot from June 1, 2021 to December 31, 2021.

The Safe Outdoor Space (SOS) program – launched in July 2020 by the Denver Mayor’s Office –  provides a temporary response to the city’s homelessness crisis.  The city partnered with the Colorado Village Collaborative (CVC) to open several Safe Outdoor Spaces for people experiencing homelessness. These Safe Outdoor Spaces are healthy, secure, staffed, resource and service-rich environments that provide an outdoor, individualized sheltering option for people experiencing unsheltered homelessness in Denver.  There have been two Safe Outdoor Spaces that have successfully operated in Denver’s Capitol Hill neighborhood since December, 2020 … and we are planning to host the third.

What does hosting a Safe Outdoor Space mean for PHUMC and Temple Micah?  CVC manages the entire site – ‘soup to nuts’.  They provide and facilitate it all – infrastructure, social service support, food, screening, security. PHUMC and Micah offer the physical and communal space for CVC to do its work. The sharing of physical space means sacrificing potential parking space for this effort.  The sharing of communal space means working within our communities and with our Park Hill neighbors to create opportunities for education, dialogue and collaboration about this Safe Outdoor Space and the crisis of homelessness.  If we want, we will have opportunities to support CVC in their work of caring for some of the needs of the residents of the SOS.

I feel very strongly about our participation in this effort and am proud to collaborate with our Park Hill UMC friends to make it happen.  I clearly see the alignment of our values and doing what we can to support people experiencing homelessness.  I also understand that there is a lot to learn and understand about this temporary solution to a larger societal problem.  You may be like me that – upon hearing about this endeavor – you have some questions and even concerns about it all.   I understand that while the professional and lay leadership at Park HIll UMC and Temple Micah may have been talking about and thinking about this idea already, it is the first time many in our communities (Micah, PHUMC and the Park Hill neighborhood) are hearing about it.  I encourage you to learn more, begin asking your questions and understanding more about it all.

Let me share with you how you can go about learning more …

​​​​​​​If … after you have read, watched and started to learn more … you are curious about how to participate in this effort, please let me know that desire, too.

Thank you, for taking the time to listen about our new initiative.  I am proud to be part of a community that is always striving to understand, incorporate and embody our most sacred values into every aspect of our lives.

B’shalom,

R.Mo

Dear PHUMC – We Are Here

Dear Park Hill,

I feel a desperate need to say something impactful or do something meaningful for you, for any and every community touched by the prejudice and injustice of this moment. I feel angry, scared and impotent in the face of the narrow minded, cold-hearted forces of bigotry and hate. The best I can do right now is to remember what you did for me in another difficult moment.

It was a Sunday morning in October of 2018. The day before, a crazed madman entered the Tree of Life synagogue and massacred Jews who had chosen to observe their Sabbath in their community. On that Sunday when you showed up to observe your Sabbath, I was there for our community’s Sunday programming … feeling afraid, vulnerable and shaken.
Just like our shared spiritual ancestors do in our sacred stories, you simply showed up and said: Hineni, Here I am. You could not eliminate antisemitism from the world, you could not erase the vulnerability we felt at the moment, you could not make sense of the lives that were lost … and you did not try to do any of those things. You just showed up and said: Hineni, Here I am. There were words of comfort, gestures of support and silent embraces. They all simply communicated what I needed in the moment: to know that you were there standing with me and my community. And it meant everything.

Even though that is ‘all’ you did, I knew that you were (and still are) willing to partner with us to do the work that might eliminate hate, erase the vulnerability that originates from the fear of the other and create a world in which every life is precious.

In the midst of this pandemic, my community and I cannot physically show up so that you can feel the breath of our words of comfort from our lips, the warmth and connection of our touch or the power of our embrace … but do not doubt it for a moment — Hineni, We are are.

Hineni – We are here in this moment with you, without any grasp of the words to say that might change the world … but are eager to learn how to engage in that conversation.

Hineni – We are here in this moment with you, not knowing what exactly to do… but we are eager to roll up our collective sleeves and to go to work.

Hineni – We are here in this moment with you, even without understanding what fully showing up means. What we do know – with help from you – is that showing up means not trying to save you or fix it for you, but standing next to you because the things that scare you scare us; that your injustices are our injustices; that your peace is our peace.

Hineni – We are here.

B’shalom,

Rabbi Mo

 

What I Did On My Sabbatical

I built an ark.

Don’t worry!  It is not the 40 days and nights of flooding kind of ark!  It is the hold-the-Torah-scroll, house-our-sacred-story kind of ark.

Before I tell you more about it, there is more to it than simply, “I spent my month off in the garage making sawdust.”

I approach my sabbatical time with gratitude, reverence and intention.  It is not vacation.  It is time that you entrust me to use to help me be a better rabbi.  For me to realize that goal, I have found that I need to spend this gift of time quite purposely to tend to my physical and spiritual well being.  It is not so easy, however, to always distinguish between the two … they integrate and flow into the other.

Our Shabbat morning service begins by honoring these ways we live and engage in the world.  One prayer acknowledges the part of us that is physical and the following prayer acknowledges part of us that is spiritual.  The one that follows lists the ‘miracles’ out there in the world we may encounter as physical/spiritual beings. With this model in mind I went about some internal and external crafting …

I designed this month of sabbatical time for some ‘inner’ crafting and ‘outer’ crafting – with the awareness of how the physical and spiritual often inhabit the same moment and place,    I carved out my mornings to focus on ‘tending to the spiritual.’  Knowing, for me, that the physicality of running, the motions of tai chi, the stretching of yoga and the breathing of mindfulness meditation would be important parts of that tending to spirit.   I had started on the ark project late last spring, and it seemed to fit into the general heading ‘tending to the physical.’ Knowing, as well, that the experience of woodworking has always been settling and grounding for that not-so-physical part of me.

Back to the ark that I was building …  Micah has two beautiful arks.  We use one that was built about 12 years ago (crafted by Cliff Whitehouse) for use in Park Hill Congregational Church’s large sanctuary.  It now resides in our Mikdash/Chapel.  Temple Micah has used our other Ark for 35 years.  When Micah sold the building it owned in 1977, they could not take the ark because it was built into the sanctuary.  So, a new ark was built by Denver craftsman, Tom Pearce, for Temple Micah.  We use it now when we use Park Hill United Methodist Church’s large sanctuary for High Holydays, B’nai Mitzvah and other heavily attended services.  Not only is this ark beautiful, but it is also big … and takes at least 3 or 4 people to move it.  When Micah lived at Park Hill Congregational Church this large ark was moved regularly for more than 2 decades from one sanctuary to the other before the 2nd ark was built for use in their large sanctuary.  The ark that resided in the PHCC’s main sanctuary had a nice little corner behind the pulpit to be stored.  When we moved to PHUMC we anticipated having a similar arrangement, but the layout and demands of the space are different.  We have had to reinstitute the the practice of moving our big, beautiful ark on and off the pulpit after each time we used the large sanctuary.

With deep appreciation for the way the large ark has served us the past 4 decades, I carefully  began designing a new ark that would work in our new space.  It needed to be an ark that would fit in the doorways and hallways of this great old building and move more easily up and down stairs and in and out of the sanctuary.

Beyond its functionality, I wanted a piece that while needing to be smaller, still felt like it was filling that large space.  The design of the doors is intended to have a sense of movement or even emanation – to address that sense of space and draw attention to the Tree of Life that emanates from within the ark.  Each side is constructed of four panels to suggest the 4 worlds or realms in which we reside, as taught by our mystic sages. I used two kinds of wood – maple and cherry – to reflect this dynamic interplay of body and soul, physical and spiritual.

The ark in any synagogue can be a safe and beautiful, practical and inspiring place to keep our Torah scrolls.  Beyond its utility to hold the scroll and artistic expression, the ark symbolizes something beyond the physical.  The ark we see in the sanctuary or Mikdash holds the physical scroll of the Jewish sacred story. . Each of these points us toward another ‘ark’ … the ‘ark’ that is the lives we craft that serve as a sacred encasement of our individual sacred stories.  The ark is not just a holy, secure and pretty place to hold the Torah scroll … it reminds us to also to honor the ‘stories’ that fill our lives.  I hope that as we use this ark to house our Torah scrolls, we will also be mindful of the sacred stories that reside in the holy ‘arks’ that we craft each and every day of our lives.

From Your #2 Rabbi

It is not usual that I warm to being acknowledged as anybody’s “2nd favorite something”.  If my kids told me I was their 2nd favorite parent or my parents told me I was their 2nd favorite son, I do not think I would treat it as a gift.  However, each time I get to see or spend some time with Pastor Eric Smith – and he greets me with “Well, it’s my 2nd favorite rabbi!”  I welcome his greeting with warmth and treat it as high praise.  (If you are still having a brain freeze, Pastor Smith’s #1 rabbi would be young man they call Jesus!)

 

Sadly, after June 4th I will not be hearing Pastor Smith’s unique greeting around the halls of our shared sacred space.  Pastor Smith has been assigned  by his Bishop to a new ministry at Arvada United Methodist Church.  I understand the ways that the Methodist denomination works and assigns its spiritual leadership … I understand that Pastor Smith feels called to his new community … I understand that our friends at PHUMC are excited for the next chapter in the life of their community, and I am still sad about this change involving our partner, my colleague and friend.

 

Pastor Smith began his tenure at PHUMC while Temple Micah was in the midst of planning and preparing to move in to PHUMC.  Even though he was not a part of the initial stages of decision making, Pastor Smith welcomed us with an open heart and open mind.  He had faith in the personal, professional and communal possibilities and opportunities for such a relationship.

 

That unique relationship grew as our two communities, and as he and I, got to know each other.  We began by celebrating our covenant in a manner that was rich and meaningful.  After the shocking election result in the fall, I was able to lean on you to find words to share with my community when I could not find my own.  We more deeply evolved our interfaith collaborative by connecting with Imam Ali at Masjid Taqwa.  We shared and vision of making our shared sacred space a Sanctuary and began the process of making that vision a reality.

 

Pastor Smith’s presence has been an important part of my time in our new home.   In him I have a trusted colleague in the building who knows and instinctively understands the wonderful peculiarities of being a rabbi or pastor or minister.  He has been a source of support, perspective and laughter.

 

Another phrase that I have heard often from Pastor Smith over the past 4 years is – when asked, “How are you doing?”, he would reply – “It is good with my soul.”  Well, my colleague and friend, I cannot not tell you where you rank on my favorite pastor list.  I can gratefully tell you that it has been very good with my soul to have had the chance to share this space (both physical and spiritual) with you.  Thank you, Dr. Eric Smith, for being a part of my and my community’s life for these past 4 years.  Kol Tuv, may it continue to be good with your soul.

Being Micah in Trump’s America

3 Adar 5777 – 1 March 2017

Dear Micah,

It feels as if the world I left before I began my Sabbatical is a very different one than the one I found upon my return just a few weeks ago.

The new leadership of our country alarms, outrages and frightens me.  The Orwellian manipulation of and mistrust of truth taunts and terrorizes us  Under its shadow, friends in our Park Hill neighborhood – the Masjid Taqwa mosque – fear leaving their homes unless to meet their most basic needs.  Under its shadow, Jews have been threatened and publicly denigrated in the United States of America at a rate that seems unprecedented for my lifetime.  Under its shadow, the institutions that have for almost two and a half centuries protected and catalyzed this great American experiment are mocked, belittled and in danger.  This worry for the political, moral and spiritual direction of our country permeates and encumbers our daily lives.  

I often wonder what it was like to be a rabbi during another tumultuous time in our country’s history, the Civil Rights movement.  I wonder if I would have had the clarity of purpose and courage of conviction to act as so many of my ecclesiastical ancestors did at that time.  I always assume — since we study in hindsight about what they did — that the ‘what?’ was clear to them at the time.  However, as I find myself in this historical moment,  I am revisiting that assumption.  I wonder if those ecclesiastical ancestors of mine felt the dissonance between the clarity of what was wrong and the ambiguity of what to do about it.

During my Sabbatical and since my return I have been asking myself: What is my role as your rabbi in the midst of this particular historical moment?  What is the role of Temple Micah? As I have considered and reflected on these questions, the wisdom of the great Hassidic leader, Rabbi Zusia spoke to me.  

One time Zusia came to his followers, his eyes were red with tears, and his face was pale with fear.  He told them: “The other day, I had a vision. In it, I learned the question that the angels will one day ask me about my life.”  

His students were puzzled. “Zusia, you are pious. You are scholarly and humble. You have helped so many of us. What question about your life could be so terrifying that you would be frightened to answer it?”

Zusia turned his gaze to heaven. “I have learned that the angels will not ask me, ‘Why weren’t you a Moses, leading your people out of slavery?’ … or ‘Why weren’t you a Joshua, leading your people into the promised land?’ … “They will say to me, ‘Zusia, there was only one thing that no power of heaven or earth could have prevented you from becoming.’ They will say, ‘Zusia, why weren’t you Zusia?'”

In these anxious days, the best that any of us can do — as individuals and communities — is to intentionally, vigilantly andwith integrity be the best of our selves.  

What does keeping Zusia’s wisdom in mind — and striving to ‘Be Micah’ — look like for Temple Micah and for its rabbinic leadership?  

Temple Micah needs to be Temple Micah.  That begins with an understanding of who we are.   Fully cognizant of our gifts and blessings, we will continue to strive to do what we do with excellence.     Fully aware of our limitations, we will collaborate with those in our community with the skills and experience to confront injustice, intolerance and ignorance.

Micah being Micah means … Doing Justly.  Part of ‘Zusia being Zusia’ entailed Zusia teaching, helping and impacting his world.  Part of ‘Micah being Micah’ entails the same things.  With a healthy understanding of our strengths and limitations, we will continue to involve ourselves in the actions that seek to make the world a better place,  We will also seek out the methods and partners that will help us address the challenges we face in the current political reality.

  • Relationships with PHUMC and Masjid Taqwa mosque have become important resources for me and our community in the last few months.  Pastor Smith, Imam Ali and I are committed to further developing our relationships.
  • Our budding connection with Project Worthmore has also emerged as even more significant in the last few months.  Supporting their work with Colorado refugee families is a constructive response to national efforts that threaten refugee families.
  • Organizations like Together Colorado and the Interfaith Alliance actively advocate on various political issues.  I am meeting with their leaders to learn even more about what they do and how we may lend our support to their efforts.
  • Pastor Smith and I are also studying the possibility of declaring our shared facility a political Sanctuary.  We are inviting both of our communities to learn more and discuss the nature of this commitment on Sunday, March 12th at 1:00pm.

We will continue to act justly as long as when we leave the friendly confines of our own sanctuary and community, we still encounter injustice in our world.  We invite you to participate and collaborate with us to help us continue doing so.

Micah being Micah means … Creating Meaningful Moments.  Temple Micah strives to create meaningful opportunities that ground, clarify and even inspire us to go out and live our lives in a fashion that brings justice, compassion and peace to the world.  You and I need Micah to provide moments for us keep praying and reflecting and studying so that we remember who we are and what we want to do.  We will continue to strive to create meaningful moments that allow us to be grateful for our blessings, see clearly our challenges and have faith in our ability to face them.   I invite you to participate and collaborate with us to help us continue doing so.

I am scared, worried and outraged.  I am also grateful, hopeful and inspired.  May we stand together sharing and experiencing these feelings and face this historical moment with grace, determination and courage.

B’shalom,

My Grandma Knows Everything

My grandma knows everything. I do not remember what age I was when I first began announcing this piece of information to the world. I do not remember the moment, either, that this realization first struck me as discernable and true. And yet there it was – beyond the lens of the more experienced (and perhaps jaded) eyes of a parent seeing her or his own parent; through the simple, noble and definitive vision of child – in the way that a grandchild can connect, understand and appreciate the wonder of a grandparent – it was quite clear to me: My grandma knows everything.

I would happily announce this paradigm of mine to anyone who would listen: my family, my friends and my grandmother, herself. In fact, she and I had our own song and dance that we would perform – quick and simple, knowing each other’s unspoken cues – that would lead to conveying this maxim to an unwitting audience. Truth be told, this schtick had a certain shelf life that ended somewhere at the onset of young adulthood and the assumption that most of us young adults eventually embody – that we each know everything that we need to know. Even though I have not uttered this bromide in years – as I searched my mind and my heart for the words to share with you this morning – it was these words that I felt compelled to share and explore. My grandma knows everything.
What did Phyllis Bookatz know? Well, all of us who interacted with my grandma, were keenly aware of what she was thinking or feeling about a particular matter or person – whether we liked it or not. What one thinks and what one feels is not necessarily the same thing as what one knows. I am not standing here with a childlike wonder suggesting that she actually knew everything. My grandma would never claim to be a scholar filled with academic knowledge. As many times as I tried to sit at the feet of my elder and coax her to wax philosophical about questions of an existential or ideological nature, she never really thrived in that kind of exchange. She was too practical, too corporeal. So, I wonder: What did she know? My grandma knows everything.

The Hebrew word that we most commonly translate from the verb ‘to know’ is Da’at. It is used in a myriad of ways in the Tanach – expressing all kinds of knowing or knowledge – from knowing the difference between ‘good and evil’ to knowing someone in the ‘biblical sense’ to knowing what is true and how the world works because one’s life experience. The mystics understand Da’at as the concrete and solid manifestation of our accumulated understanding and wisdom. The nature of Da’at is not about espousing pieces of information or overwhelming others with impressive data – but honestly and boldly living what we know. Da’at is how we embody what we understand, how we live the truths that are embedded in our hearts and souls. So, from what I thought I understood as a child to what I thought I understood no more as a young adult … today, as a middle aged adult, I am quite clear in my mind and heart as I tell you: My grandma knows everything.

Phyllis Bookatz – in the way she lived her life – embodied this Da’at – this knowing – in how she worked, how she played; how she spent her time, energy and money; how she fought and how she loved. Within this life of actions, deeds and values we see what she knew. My grandma knows everything. However, ‘everything’, might take too long for us to cover in the time that I am given to celebrate her this morning. So, I ask you to indulge me as I share with you just a small portion of that ‘everything’ that I am blessed to understand and hopefully ‘know’ myself one day.

My grandma knows about working hard, commitment, perseverance and strength. With her practical, stick-to-it and serious nature – my grandmother was a doer. She was someone upon whom others could depend, someone who would get things done. She would not get caught up in the what-ifs or the emotionality of a task or a project – she would put her head down and do what she needed to do – because it needed to get done. There are many examples from her life about how she knew about these things. My aunts, uncle and mom can tell you examples from their childhood; my cousins share my witness to the thing she did – not just for the community – but for each one of us – the people at B’nai Jeshurun can share them, too and so can the countless others who knew Phyllis in one of her life endeavors. From among these numerous moments of commitment, perseverance and strength … one profoundly speaks to me. I cannot speak about my grandmother without speaking about my grandfather. The two were inextricably combined in my memory and my heart. They were an entity, a force together. They were yin and yang before it was cool and hip to talk about people being yin and yang. As formidable (and sometimes intimidating) as each could be individually, they were more so together. And yet, almost three decades ago – my grandfather died in a slow, painful and treacherous manner. I remember feeling worried and concerned for her – how would she overcome this devastating loss of her Jules. To this day I am awed and inspired by the way that my grandma lived after he died. Tapping into her storehouse of a lifetime of acquired commitment, perseverance and strength – Phyllis crafted, created and forged a life – that while did not include her beloved Jules – did include meaning, purpose and love. She knew how to commit, to persevere to be strong and how to survive. My grandma knows everything.

My grandma knows about being Jewish. Identifying, acting and living as a Jewish person was essential to my grandmother’s life. She knew the formal, more public ways that one might understand her Judaism. My grandmother’s commitment to Heights Temple/B’nai Jeshurun and Israel Bonds are legendary. Her home (i.e. her kitchen) was ground zero for every significant Jewish holiday. I could go on and on listing these formal involvements and commitments of hers … But there was more to what she knew about being a Jew. When I first decided to pursue a career as a rabbi in the Reform movement and not the Conservative one, I think I feared how she might respond … having been so committed and immersed in a Conservative community that she and my grandfather loved so much. And yet, that was never the case for even a moment. From my grandmother, I have come to understand Judaism more deeply and broadly than than the lines drawn by its institutions. Again, while she would have never been one to express it – she lived Rabbi Mordechai Kaplan’s understanding that Judaism was bigger being only a religion, or culture or ethnicity … it is a civilization. And she embraced the fullness of this diversity and it’s complexity. She supported and was supported by the religious, cultural, ethnic and national ways of being a Jew. She lived as if Judaism and being a Jew was bigger, larger and more important than any particular ritual or politics or doctrine – and held no patience when those (or other dynamics) got in the way of being a Jew. (And she would let anyone within earshot know what she thought.) When I began the path of becoming a Reform rabbi, I feared I might be taking steps away from her … And what I have come to understand is that every step I took actually brought me closer to what she knew about being a Jew. Phyllis Bookatz knew about living a Jewish life. My grandma knows everything.

My grandma knows about family. We all here know the numbers … four loving and devoted children; 4 sons and daughter in law who join in that love and devotion; 13 grandchildren, 12 and soon-to-be 14 great grandchildren. In many of our conversations and particularly in our last one, my grandmother wanted me to know how extremely blessed she felt to have the love and devotion of all of her children and grandchildren – she knew complete and genuine gratitude. Each of us can speak of the numerous ways that her presence in our lives mattered deeply to us and enriched us. And yet for me, what she knew … what I have come to understand from her about family and relationships may be the most precious, essential and difficult lesson to learn. My grandma would not be one to teach the theology of Martin Buber, but she taught me a great deal about his lofty ideal about the nature of divinity. You see, Buber teaches that God is the name for what happens when two individuals love one another completely – for the other’s gifts and for the other’s limitations. I cannot speak of my grandmother without speaking about this precious piece of ultimate wisdom I learned from my relationship with her. A mature relationship means loving someone for all that they are – because of their greatest gifts and their most challenging limitations. The fact that I can stand here today speaking to you at her request – speaks to what she knew and what I seek to know in my own life. Families and intimate relationships are the most powerful and influential forces of nature in our lives. Like any force of nature they can elevate us and flatten us, bring us joy and pain. When we are able to love one another not in spite of, but because of our flaws and mistakes we are able to experience the full divinity embedded in each relationship in our lives. I understand from my grandma about the sweetness offering and receiving redemption and forgiveness; about the elastic nature of families and relationships and their power to impact and endure. Phyllis Bookatz knew about family. My grandma knows everything.

And now perhaps, in the realm that her soul dwells now … she does truly know everything … or maybe not. My grandma was always pretty clear – set in her practical and matter of fact way about life, death and what happens beyond this world. In fact, she often appeared as a foil when I have found myself teaching about Jewish views of life after death. She would represent the view that when we die, we die … there is only this world and so the only thing we can do is make the best of it. Fitting to her nature and way of living in this world, and yet … In the last year or so she seemed to open her mind to the possibility of another possibility. She would not talk extensively about this shift in ideology, except to mention the thought or possibility of being with my grandfather again someday. For my grandma, this simple suggestion was seismic in nature … and brings me great comfort. Comfort in the shadow of death and our grief that she may be with right now her beloved Jules. Comfort in the light of the mystery of life that no matter where she may be that all she knew is such an essential and fundamental part of the lives of those of us who cherish and love her.

For my beloved grandma, who knows everything … I offer these words from the poet as my prayer of thanksgiving for the blessing of your presence in all of our lives:

Epitaph (Merritt Malloy)

When I die
Give what’s left of me away
To children
And old men that wait to die.
And if you need to cry,
Cry for your brother
Walking the street beside you.
And when you need me,
Put your arms
Around anyone
And give them

What you need to give to me.
I want to leave you something,
Something better
Than words
Or sounds.

Look for me
In the people I’ve known
Or loved,
And if you cannot give me away,
At least let me live on your eyes
And not on your mind.

You can love me most
By letting
Hands touch hands,
By letting
Bodies touch bodies,
And by letting go
Of children
That need to be free.

Love doesn’t die,
People do.
So, when all that’s left of me
Is love,
Give me away.

Sabbatical Preparations and Ruminations

It is now four times that I have been blessed to prepare for Sabbatical during the month of January. In each of the past three years and in this time of preparation I find myself buoyed by a strong sense of gratitude for this gift of time and for the relationship between Micah and me from which the gift originates. 

While I find myself equally thankful each year as I prepare, I also find that each year I am more deeply aware of the thought I put into about how I utilize this gift of time. I feel the responsibility to use it well — so that this communal investment of time in me pays dividends for the community. I also feel the need within me to construct my time and activities in such a fashion that I can dwell in that Sacred Place Within and emerge with whatever gifts are meant to be taken from such a Place.

During these preparations in which I have a hyper-focus on my choices of how I spend my time – I make a mental note. I want to remember this sense of anticipation and potential for this upcoming time – because I sense that it should apply to each and every moment throughout the year. We should regard and approach each moment – no matter when we spend it – with the same responsibility, urgency and possibility.

After four years of preparing for and spending Sabbatical time, I think I am beginning to understand that I take this time to better understand this reality and how I may humbly share its wisdom to those whose hearts wish to understand it, too. And, so I begin both efforts by spending this time of preparation sharing these thoughts with you …

It’s Still Love

When it seems that evil reveals itself within our most vulnerable places, Love is still our most powerful response. When it seems that we have lost control over the instruments of violence, Love is still the most powerful weapon in our arsenal. When we cannot understand – with our minds or our hearts – how or why the innocent must suffer, Love is still our most powerful idea. When we lose our balance by the undertow of our radical vulnerability and the precarious nature of life, Love is still our most powerful anchor. When we doubt if we can truly construct a world that just, compassionate and peaceful, Love is still our most powerful tool.

With AND To

We are grateful that we are able to look in the rear view at the recent exchange of violence between Israel and Gaza – let us be thankful that both sides were able to agree to at least a temporary cessation of hostilities. We still feel emboldened by the way the Jewish community stood together during this crisis. Across emails, facebook pages, twitter feeds, synagogue and organization websites and within the walls of these organizations we saw, heard and responded to the call to ‘Stand Up’ WITH Israel … exactly as we should have done so.

As people in Jewish households who have deep connections to this sacred place, our connections to Israel call upon us to ‘Stand Up’ WITH Israel as its inhabitants face constant and threatening rocket fire from Gaza … to ‘Stand Up’ WITH Israel as it faces the challenge of needing to work with those who challenges Israel’s very legitimacy … to ‘Stand Up’ with Israel as the country’s leadership struggles to make the difficult decisions between policy and politics; diplomacy and combat, life and death.

And yet, because we so deeply value Israel for all that which it stands … not only must we ‘Stand Up’ WITH Israel, we must endeavor to – chastened by the highest values of our Jewish tradition – ‘Stand Up’ TO Israel. The latest exchange of violence did not occur in a vacuum. There is a deteriorating political and social context to which Israel holds its share of accountability.

As people in Jewish households who hold deep connections with this sacred place our connections to Israel call upon us to ‘Stand Up’ TO Israel and speak frankly and honestly about social and moral repercussions of the continued placement and expansion of the Separation Barrier … to ‘Stand Up’ TO Israel and speak frankly and honestly about the continued development of Settlements in spite of the way that development impedes on future possibilities for reconciliation and peace … to ‘Stand Up’ TO Israel and lovingly remind our Jewish sisters and brothers about the vision of acting as sovereign power in a fashion that promotes and supports justice and freedom for ALL of its inhabitants.

As I struggle with the most effective way to walk this balance between standing up WITH and TO, I am deeply grateful for the perspective and wisdom of my friend, Dalia Landau. Dalia is one of the protagonists in The Lemon Tree and the heart and soul of Open House – a peace education center – in Ramle, Israel. Dalia lives and embodies this struggle of standing up WITH and TO with sincerity and grace. In the aftermath of the recent exchange of hostilities, she wrote to me:

“I am sure that you are as relieved for the cease fire as I am. It is tenuous. Most of the reserve soldiers have not yet been sent home. Please continue praying for all of us. Once again the saddest thing is the mutual projections of evil on each other, the competition over how much destruction we have caused each other. Well, nothing new. This is what war is about is it not? Today, there is no such thing as settling a conflict in the battlefield, is there? The whole country is the field … At such times our work at Open House becomes so much more challenging. Suspicion grows, feelings are on edge. At such times, it becomes very difficult to bear disagreement or another point of view. Minority voices are hardly tolerated … How are we ever to be able to create confidence building measures without people getting to know each other? This is the question that bugs me continuously … Now a whole generation is growing in the West Bank and Gaza that has not met Israelis except as soldiers or bomber planes flying over their heads.”

The cessation of hostilities between Israel and Gaza is just the beginning – or more accurately the continuation – of the real work that must be done by all of us who claim connection to this sacred place. We need to speak the truth – the truth of our love and support for Israel and its people; the truth of our grave concern for the perpetually worsening situation between Israel and Palestinians; the truth about the cost to the collective Jewish soul that continues to escalate.

So, read and learn more and what intelligent people from all perspectives have to say; talk and listen respectfully and honestly with those whose views you share and with those whose views are different from your own and support those organizations like Open House – that lovingly and tirelessly work hard to stand up WITH and TO this place we value so deeply.

I Was Not There – Reflections on the Aurora Movie Theater Tragedy

Each year on the 9th day of the Hebrew month of Av (Tisha B’Av) – sometime between late July and mid-August the Jewish tradition pushes us to look directly into the face of tragedy, destruction, pain and loss. Tisha B’Av is not a very widely observed Jewish ritual … perhaps Jews get enough opportunities to relive and remember the tragic and painful moments in Jewish history throughout the course of the year. Perhaps the destruction of the First and Second Temples are no more than intellectual abstractions to human beings living twenty to twenty five centuries after these historical moments. This year in spite of the lack of regard that most of us have for Tisha B’Av, its spirit intrigues and challenges me …

This year on Tisha B’Av (it was the 29th of July) – we Jews of Colorado found ourselves looking directly into the face of tragedy, destruction, pain and loss … as all of Colorado reacts and strives to come together after the tragic violence at the Aurora movie theater on July 20, 2012. Many of us Jews may not have even been aware of the observance, yet less actually observing the rituals of Tisha B’Av – reciting from the book of Lamentations or fasting. And yet, we all have been spending the days before (will spend the many of the days following) Tisha B’Av engaged in the tribulation of confronting the occurrence of and the nature of tragedy in our midst.

Using the lens of Tisha B’Av is helpful to me as I try and face the horrific consequences of these violent and reprehensible acts. Like most fellow Denverites and Coloradans, I was not there in the theater that night. I do not know anyone who was there, was injured or killed. I do not even begin to approach an understanding of the physical and emotional trauma, pain and suffering of those who were in theater or the loved ones of those who were in the theater. Still, I am absorbed by a morbid curiosity of what happened and how it happened that night; I am filled with (and ask with others) essential and profound questions about fate, human nature, evil, suffering; I am confronted by feelings of fear, doubt, anger and anxiety. I was not there – I am not traumatized because I was present or mourning a death of someone who was murdered or figuring out how to support those who survived, but I feel on some level that it happened to me, to all of us. Why do I have that perception and what do I do with it?

The template of the Tisha B’Av observance guides me in responding to these questions. Tisha B’Av acknowledges the way that tragic events touch, impact and potentially change the entire collective in which these events occur. The tradition does not have us act as if we were there – to in some way artificially or selfishly take upon ourselves the raw terror of experiencing that pain, loss and trauma. It does not blur the line between victim/survivor and concerned bystander/fellow community member. It allows, encourages, those of us who were not there – to question and to feel the raw realities that such tragedies force us to confront. Our tradition allows us the sacred, yet burdensome task of examining our human condition and the society that it has created. Our tradition nudges us to sit face to face with our stark limitations and our profound possibilities – and the consequences of realizing or not realizing each.

Why does Jewish tradition allow us and force us to feel and consider such things? From the appropriate emotional and historical distance, the important and difficult process of engaging with these moments grounds us to our deepest values and clarifies our broadest visions. This process pushes and prods us to intensely pursue justice and peace; to actively choose life; to be fully present in each loving encounter.

While we continue to support and nurture those whose lives were so violently changed in that movie theater that night, let us – with the appropriate distance – fully engage in this sacred and burdensome task. Let us feel those emotions – fear for our safety, angst in the realization of the actual randomness of life in the context of illusory order; impotence in our stark realization that we are so limited in being able to protect our children, our partners, our loved ones and even ourselves. Let us ask our questions on sin and forgiveness; on the ethics and morality of gun control and capital punishment; on the essence of human nature; on the nature and presence of evil; on the pain and suffering of the innocent and the righteous. May the experience of such emotions and our response to such questions help us comfort the bereaved, care for the injured and push and inspire us to create a just, loving and peaceful place in our world.

A Little Less Majesty This Morning

It is usually on days like this one – clear, crisp, sunny with the beautiful sight of the mountains beckoning that I feel great pride in living in Colorado. However, as bright as the sun is shining and as majestic as the stunning purple mountains may be this morning … the wattage is not as high this morning as I reflect upon the cowardly and bigoted decision made by the Colorado House of Representatives. The news is not news at this juncture – the Colorado House of Representatives refused to even allow a vote on a the latest bill asking for equal rights for ANY two human beings – regardless of their gender — to enjoy the same rights and protection that our government exists to preserve and protect. I am sad, ashamed and angry.

The words – no the wisdom and the call – of tradition that come to mind are simple ones from the prophet Micah: Do Justly. Love Mercy. Walk Humbly. I think the justice and the mercy explain themselves in the case for the Civil Union bill … don’t they? Justice seems to point toward providing equitable treatment to all law abiding, tax paying citizens in this great American society. The fact that we question whether one group – on account of their sexual orientation – to be worthy of equal treatment is nothing short of prejudice and bigotry. No matter how such a rationalization is cloaked in the finery of religious belief or political expediency – it is no different that limiting another’s rights because of the color of one’s skin, the type of sexual organs on one’s body or the way one believes or does not believe in a deity.

And if justice does not get us there, then it would be time to jump on the train of mercy. Love your neighbor as yourself. (Micah 6:8) What is hateful to you, do not do to others. (Talmud, Shabbat 31a) Remember the stranger for you, too, were strangers in the land of Egypt. (Leviticus 19:34) How can anyone of us who has been touched by successful or unsuccessful marriages (which I am pretty sure which include all of us) not have the greatest respect and compassion for any two human beings who endeavor to roll up their sleeves and try and create a marriage, a family and a home? It is one of the most challenging and rewarding paths that we human beings have the opportunity upon which to walk. Our state is merciless when it is able to say to some of those human beings who have engaged in this sacred task: No, you do not have the legal right to visit your partner when they lie sick and possibly dying in a hospital. No, you do not have the legal right to help determine the care this loved one in these scenarios. No, no, no … but yes to the rest of you.

Humility is the charge for us to know our place in the larger webs of lives and life in which we dwell. Our lawmakers work for us. Our lawmakers place – both liberal and conservative – is to make their best efforts to bring considered, relevant and constructive laws to our representatives for approval. While each of these employees of ours must be expected and encouraged to stay true to their personal and political values – humility is about understanding one’s place. It is about knowing where ‘I’ end and the larger entity – which is Civic Colorado – begins. It is about maturely allowing that larger web to take thoughtful, sincere input from that ‘I’ and then letting that web follow its own course. And no matter whether you sit on the right or the left or somewhere in between, humility is ultimately about trusting – dare I say ‘having faith’ – in the larger web that is Civic Colorado and living with those decisions – especially when those decisions do not reflect your sincere and thoughtful perspective.

Do Justly. Love Mercy Walk Humbly. Six words that I find refuge in as I look to return the wattage of Colorado and all of its glory to its genuine strength.

Food Sensitivities

I am thinking a lot about food at the moment … not because I am hungry as I write this post, but because I am in the midst of a twenty-one day cleanse. Under the guidance of Jen Nassi – my holistic health coach – Renee and I are participating in an exhaustive eating exercise. During these three weeks we are eliminating many foods that are common to our everyday diet and adding foods that will help our bodies remove toxins and work more efficiently.

For the first time in a long time (albeit collaterally) I am observing Kashrut. No meat, so no worries about animals’ cud chewing proclivities or the cleft-ness of their hooves. No dairy, so there is no cheese to put on that waiting hamburger (that I cannot eat). The cleanse maintains no ideological connection to these emblematic rituals of the Jewish Dietary laws. However, I believe that my cleanse and the spirit of Kashrut are profoundly connected. The traditional Jewish expression of eating properly has evolved into different sets of dishes of milk and meat and butchers who know how to kill and animal in a certain manner – there are other paths to follow from this original practice. Kashrut or Kosher means ‘fit’ or ‘proper’. In that sense the command to keep Kashrut can be understood as a charge to to produce and consume foods that are fit and proper – fit and proper for my body, for my spirit and for the world around me. Even though I have followed the traditional sense of Kashrut before in my life, during these three weeks I think I may be keeping kosher – eating ‘properly’ – in a way that I have never done before.

The idea of what is fit and proper for me (and the world) physically and spiritually contains a wide range of considerations. For example … I pay close attention to how my body reacts and works quite differently when think so differently about the food I ingest. I observe how often I associate a choice of what to eat and when to eat it by an emotion (a treat for a long run or because I have had a long day).  I notice the resources (time, money, intellectual) needed to make these choices. I pay attention to how what I choose to eat connects me to (Renee, with whom I am sharing this exercise) or disconnects me from (spending time with family and friends over meals, drinks, etc.) the social interactions that sustain me. I reflect upon the way I contribute to justice, compassion or peace for my world around me because of the way my food is produced and distributed.

I invite you to take a day to keep ‘kosher’ … to simply pay attention to the ‘fitness’ of the food and drinks you choose to ingest for a day. Don’t even worry about changing anything you eat because of the attention you are paying to your food … just consider what you put into your mouth for the day. Why are eating or drinking in that moment? What physical need does what you are choosing to eat or drink fulfill? (Hunger, exhaustion) What spiritual need does what you are choosing to eat or drinking fulfill? (Anxiety, loneliness, celebration). How will the nature of this particular food that you are ingesting affect your body and its function? How did the production of this kind of food affect other living things? (Animals, human beings, the environment)

There is great potential and even power in every single choice we make … from the obvious life-changing choices to the mundane choice of everyday life that lose our attention and their meaning.